Tuesday, November 21, 2006

What a long, strange trip it’s been.

Yes, folks, we have finally removed our stiletto-heeled hiking boots, soaked our blistered feet in the blood of a freshly-slaughtered Donald Rumsfeld, and caught up on our charm school lessons. The Wet Spots 2006 world tour is over.

The first leg saw us heading down the west coast of the USA. On our very first night south of the border, we were billeted in an enormous warehouse / dungeon full of bondage bunkbeds, suspension slings and a lifetime supply of wet-wipes. Hooray for the USA! Other highlights from this part of the world include:

-Performing live at Seattle’s Wet Spot club as fabulous dance troupe The Von Foxies performed ass-shaking burlesque to several of our numbers.

-Being banned from every club in Santa Barbara, only to have the show rescued at the eleventh hour by the local Unitarian Church. Our audience that night in the assembly hall was about 50% local perverts and 50% bemused pensioners. But they all hollered back for the Masturbation Singalong Song, and one of them told us that The Wet Spots, in our own way, are a ministry. Delusions of grandeur and Al Jorgenson goatees here we come! You can read about the controversy here.

-Discovering that San Franciscans like a good ol’ pervy dress-up event! We played some wild theme parties in amazing underground event spaces with wacky decors. If you’re living in or visiting the area, you MUST check out The Kinky Salon.

Our roots are in Vancouver, where every second weekend someone declares “My father’s got a psychedelic barn… let’s throw an all-night costumed orgy/rave!”. Good to know that it’s happenin’ all over, man!

-Indulging our inner starfuckers with shows with Margaret Cho (check out the picture!) and the Dresden Dolls (and, later in South Africa, with legendary camp comic Julian Clary). These folks are inspirational, and have paved the way for acts like ours.


After the west coast of the USA, we flew off to the west coast of SA for the Cape Town Comedy Festival. This was the first time we’d performed on another continent, and it was wild to have that continent be Africa! We did 36 shows over three weeks with some of the most talented comedians working in the business. It was a real schooling on so many levels. Coming from a bohemian art-bum community, it was weird to find ourselves in a five-star beach resort surrounded by the international rich-bastard set. The country and its people are scarily beautiful, but make no mistake: the legacy of apartheid and the ravages of HIV are very apparent in day-to-day life. One of our nightly shows there was for the FIRST EVER queer comedy showcase on the continent, and driving through the shanty towns was a sobering experience for us libertines. The comedy routines of locals like Loyiso Gola and Kagiso Lediga bring home the realities of life there in a style worthy of Richard Pryor. Another standout for us at the festival was New York comic/musical performance virtuoso Reggie Watts. There is truly nobody doing anything like him right now and you should really check him out.

From Cape Town we flew up to London, England for the Skin Two Rubber Ball. Many of our very first performances were in fetish clubs back in Vancouver, so it was an honour for us to be selected to perform at the world’s largest kink event. The show was held at the venerable Café De Paris in the heart of seedy Soho. This club has been a temple to glamour and debauchery since the 1930s. During World War Two, a shell fell right through the ceiling and killed every musician onstage except the guitarist. He was saved from the shockwave by the metal dobro guitar he was wearing. Cole Porter was a regular visitor, and he apparently penned several songs here. In the sixties, Peter Sellers and Princess Margaret cavorted in the red velvet VIP rooms where we lounged between sets. Throughout, it has presented some of the classiest T&A that the British Isles have to offer.


The final weeks of our tour were spent in New York City performing at several burlsesque shows, at the Museum of Sex, and at the Cinekink Film Festival, where Kirby Ferguson’s video of our song “Do You Take It…?” won an honourable best award. We were billeted by some fine folks named Reid and Marcia, who invented the Cuddle Party. When we first heard of these organized group hugs several years ago, we were skeptical, but listening to these folks talk with ferocious intelligence about intimacy, communication, community and personal space issues has convinced us that there’s a lot of powerful stuff going on at their events.

We’re off to Montreal to play at Sky Pub this Wednesday, but apart from that we’re going to take it pretty easy until our top secret New Year’s Eve event. After that, we’ll be hitting the west coast of Canada and the USA again this February & March! We can’t wait to re-connect with you all!

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