John Here.
I went out earlier this evening to see The Orchid Highway. They are a pop band I spent eleven years playing with between 1993 and 2004. I owe these guys a lot.
They had a plan: back in 1995 we all packed our bags and left the small prairie city of Winnipeg for London England. If it hadn't been for the band, I'd probably be a frustrated English teacher in some Winnipeg high school instead of a semi-successful cabaret artist.
They pushed me to get better in every aspect of my musicianship: singing, writing, arranging, recording... you name it. If it hadn't been for the band I would probably still be strumming folk chords and singing impenetrable lyrics in an affected whispery voice.
Over the eleven years we had some great times and some shitty times. We lived in band houses together in London and in Vancouver - very fertile creative spaces but usually way too close for comfort. I left The Orchid Highway in 2004 because The Wet Spots were getting really busy. And because I was getting more out of the new act. But it hurt like ending any eleven-year relationship would hurt.
Things are really happening for them now. They brought a new guitarist in two years ago, they got signed to a label a few months back, their new album has been released all over the USA, their new video is playing on TV.
Tonight was the first time I'd seen them play since 2005 when I was still with them. Schedules just haven't allowed for it. That's most of the reason. Somebody suggested it might be like "watching your ex-girlfriend fuck someone else". Which made me laugh. I usually enjoy watching my ex-girlfriend (or current wife or future boyfriend) fuck somebody else. I think I was born without the jealousy gene when it comes to sex. People have been throwing around the idea that polyamory is not so much a choice as it is an orientation. I do know that ever since I can remember it made sense to me to have open relationships, but usually my partners would have none of it. I would settle for monogamy because I really dug the person. And I thought it was somehow "wrong" or "too much to expect" to be allowed to have sexual or emotional attachments with anyone else. Inevitably the desire to have sex outside that relationship would end that relationship. And it would hurt the way ending any relationship hurts.
Having fallen in with a partner and a community who do polyamory with integrity has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's been freeing. But I understand jealousy. I get jealous. I get REALLLY jealous. But not in my sex life. Mostly in my professional life. If I see another entertainer getting ahead my teeth start to grind and I get that horrible feeling of dread in my stomach. Dread that my career is never going to take off. That I've been fooling myself and everyone else all along. Dread that somehow there isn't enough success and happiness to go around and if someone else just got handed a big slice then there's sure to be less for me. If Cass started hanging around with another lover, that would not be hard to deal with. If Cass started hanging around with another creative partner (perhaps one with a nicer looking guitar and a real manager) you can bet I wouldn't be sleeping much at night.
So how would it be watching my old bandmates rip it up? Watching someone new in the spot I used to occupy onstage? I anticipated it would be a combination of uncomfortable and awesome. Turns out it was just awesome. It was like watching old footage of the band (with me in it) except with all the excitement of seeing a live show. The Orchid Highway are a very energetic live band, and it was cool to experience all that from the other side of the speakers. It was particularly cool to see their guitarist Scott Perry sing lead vocals on a song that I wrote & sang back when I was with them. I don't think I've ever seen anyone cover one of my songs live before. It actually sent chills down my spine. I felt... honoured. And overall I felt excited for these guys. They've worked damn hard in a business that I know damn well is fickle and arbitrary and unfair. And it's finally paying off for them. And - if this makes any sense - it felt good to feel good for them.
Jealousy is such a corrosive emotion. It eats out your insides and spills out onto the floor and starts working on all the relationships in your life. Have I conquered it? Hell no. But I can usually recognize the physical symptoms before they overwhelm me and start me down into those looping doom-thoughts. And I can have compassion for the people who have to wrestle with that beast every time they see their partner talking to someone cute. And sometimes, it seems, I can walk through situations that I think will baffle me and come out smiling. A genuine smile.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Cass:
The thrill of the game
I'm really good at pursuing some things: shoes for example. Ditto wigs, vintage clothes, and underwear. I'm good at disguises.
With rare exception, I'm not very good at pursuing people. You'd think that, being an assertive rather dominating figure onstage, that getting dates or asking for what I want in my real life would come naturally. It doesn't. I turn into this knock-kneed, four-eyed, freckle-faced nerd. Well, not literally, but in my head. On the outside I am a lovely healthy vivacious person and on the inside I'm straight out of a Gary Larson cartoon.
I was talking about this to my friend the comedian and 'social acupuncturist' Daniel Packard. I tell him stuff like this and he calls bullshit. That's why I like him. Daniel has this way of laying out the game play that I really respect. He's watches social interactions like a coach watches a football game. Then he goes "Look, see how you tried to stand over there and make the ball come to you? Did that work, princess? No? GET YOUR ASS IN THERE, KING! HUSTLE!"
So I'm hustling. I'm getting my ass in there. Even though the helmet looks retarded with these shoes.
:)
The thrill of the game
I'm really good at pursuing some things: shoes for example. Ditto wigs, vintage clothes, and underwear. I'm good at disguises.
With rare exception, I'm not very good at pursuing people. You'd think that, being an assertive rather dominating figure onstage, that getting dates or asking for what I want in my real life would come naturally. It doesn't. I turn into this knock-kneed, four-eyed, freckle-faced nerd. Well, not literally, but in my head. On the outside I am a lovely healthy vivacious person and on the inside I'm straight out of a Gary Larson cartoon.
I was talking about this to my friend the comedian and 'social acupuncturist' Daniel Packard. I tell him stuff like this and he calls bullshit. That's why I like him. Daniel has this way of laying out the game play that I really respect. He's watches social interactions like a coach watches a football game. Then he goes "Look, see how you tried to stand over there and make the ball come to you? Did that work, princess? No? GET YOUR ASS IN THERE, KING! HUSTLE!"
So I'm hustling. I'm getting my ass in there. Even though the helmet looks retarded with these shoes.
:)
Monday, May 26, 2008
John here:
The other night Cass and I decided to watch some porn. We went the old-school route: driving down to the smelly store with the buzzing fluorescent lights and row upon row of DVD cases featuring grimacing women with penises on their faces.
We rented two. We always rent two. Why? Because the first DVD we popped into the player had some storyline which required the main actress to repeatedly masturbate herself with a disembodied mannequin hand that she took with her from set to set. I’d picked this one out because it was in a section marked “Porn Classics!”. I now realize this is just where they dump any of their titles that were made before February 2007.
Now if we were having some kind of “Plan 9 From Outer Space” porn party, this would have been an awesome pick. A bowl of popcorn, get some friends over, give them some beer and pudding and mild organic hallucinogens, see how the evening rolls out… But that wasn’t the plan. We wanted to spend some one-on-one time watching professional fornicators do their thing and perhaps even get inspired to bump our own uglies a few times before we went to sleep. And this disembodied hand was getting in the way.
If you stray off the formulaic "Couple Friendly" or "Best of Hardcore" paths in search of something interesting, you'll find that nasty (the wrong kind of nasty) surprises abound. It is a particular sort of disappointing to work yourself up into a nice plateau of arousal watching hard bodies going at it with adequate vigor, and then suddenly be presented with the sight of a 275 lb man sucking a live codfish out of a debutante’s vagina. The mind loses balance and furiously grasps for a context in which this could possibly be erotic. Questions emerge about the filmmaker's vision and his intended audience that you're not sure you want answered.
That's why you get two DVDs. You need to have your plan B ready. Primed and ready. Next to the machine. So you’re not fumbling around with a DVD case and lubed-up fingers. Quick turnaround time is essential. Particularly if you are watching with a friend and hoping to have sex with them. Suffice it to say there is a momentum to these things, and it has been interrupted. It's amazing how quickly we can go from tumescence to despair.
So we were pleasantly surprised by our other choice. The title is Chemistry and it’s produced by Tristan Taromino (of Bend-Over Boyfriend and Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women fame). The premise is simple: she hired seven professional porn actors and put them in a house for a weekend. There was no scripting of the scenes. They were basically allowed to pick when, where, how and with who they wanted to have sex. She also shot some interview footage.
The results are impressive and hot. This film has a lot of the impromptu, casual appeal of amateur porn without its awkwardness. These are professionals, to be sure, and they’ve been made up and coiffed, and they know what looks good for the camera, but I think the difference is the freedom they’re being afforded. In musician’s terms it’s like a bunch of great players jamming together rather than having to play note-for-note off a chart. And you get a bit of insight into what makes these people tick, which gives the scenes even more of an edge. A great discovery was Mika Tan. She’s hot and nasty (the right kind of nasty) and FUNNY! Pushing a guy’s head down into her pussy she instructs “Get down on it. Yeah. Go to Chinatown!” We’ll definitely be looking for more form her.
A final thought: Somebody could make a shitload of money with a brick-and-mortar or online store that deals only in smart, upscale porn. I would happily pay twice as much per video if I knew I didn’t have to rent two or three to be safe. If anyone knows of such a place, please let me know.
The other night Cass and I decided to watch some porn. We went the old-school route: driving down to the smelly store with the buzzing fluorescent lights and row upon row of DVD cases featuring grimacing women with penises on their faces.
We rented two. We always rent two. Why? Because the first DVD we popped into the player had some storyline which required the main actress to repeatedly masturbate herself with a disembodied mannequin hand that she took with her from set to set. I’d picked this one out because it was in a section marked “Porn Classics!”. I now realize this is just where they dump any of their titles that were made before February 2007.
Now if we were having some kind of “Plan 9 From Outer Space” porn party, this would have been an awesome pick. A bowl of popcorn, get some friends over, give them some beer and pudding and mild organic hallucinogens, see how the evening rolls out… But that wasn’t the plan. We wanted to spend some one-on-one time watching professional fornicators do their thing and perhaps even get inspired to bump our own uglies a few times before we went to sleep. And this disembodied hand was getting in the way.
If you stray off the formulaic "Couple Friendly" or "Best of Hardcore" paths in search of something interesting, you'll find that nasty (the wrong kind of nasty) surprises abound. It is a particular sort of disappointing to work yourself up into a nice plateau of arousal watching hard bodies going at it with adequate vigor, and then suddenly be presented with the sight of a 275 lb man sucking a live codfish out of a debutante’s vagina. The mind loses balance and furiously grasps for a context in which this could possibly be erotic. Questions emerge about the filmmaker's vision and his intended audience that you're not sure you want answered.
That's why you get two DVDs. You need to have your plan B ready. Primed and ready. Next to the machine. So you’re not fumbling around with a DVD case and lubed-up fingers. Quick turnaround time is essential. Particularly if you are watching with a friend and hoping to have sex with them. Suffice it to say there is a momentum to these things, and it has been interrupted. It's amazing how quickly we can go from tumescence to despair.
So we were pleasantly surprised by our other choice. The title is Chemistry and it’s produced by Tristan Taromino (of Bend-Over Boyfriend and Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women fame). The premise is simple: she hired seven professional porn actors and put them in a house for a weekend. There was no scripting of the scenes. They were basically allowed to pick when, where, how and with who they wanted to have sex. She also shot some interview footage.
The results are impressive and hot. This film has a lot of the impromptu, casual appeal of amateur porn without its awkwardness. These are professionals, to be sure, and they’ve been made up and coiffed, and they know what looks good for the camera, but I think the difference is the freedom they’re being afforded. In musician’s terms it’s like a bunch of great players jamming together rather than having to play note-for-note off a chart. And you get a bit of insight into what makes these people tick, which gives the scenes even more of an edge. A great discovery was Mika Tan. She’s hot and nasty (the right kind of nasty) and FUNNY! Pushing a guy’s head down into her pussy she instructs “Get down on it. Yeah. Go to Chinatown!” We’ll definitely be looking for more form her.
A final thought: Somebody could make a shitload of money with a brick-and-mortar or online store that deals only in smart, upscale porn. I would happily pay twice as much per video if I knew I didn’t have to rent two or three to be safe. If anyone knows of such a place, please let me know.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Burning Man Choir
OK, I'm really excited about this one - we are planning to attend Burning Man for the first time this year and we want to assemble a choral presentation of our songs.
I have loved choirs and musicals since I was a kid. I used to sing along to Grease and Les Miz and Cabaret, and do little acts in my mirror in my bedroom. I'm sure that surprises you. I've been performing in my underwear for YEARS. HAHA.
No, bur really... The power of choral singing often moves me to tears. there's some major mojo in the power of harmony and the human voice. Ha ! that would be a good Playa name. Major Mojo.
SO we're working on some acpella arrangements of our songs - right now, I think we're going to do Do You Take It and Bi-Curious George, (I Just Want to Fuck) Somebody Else, and maybe a new NEW BRAND NEW song from a musical we're working on, called "Everybody wants to be a Star" .... and we're open to suggestions for more.
The plan is to record the different parts and make them available for download in July, and to come together on the playa (allright, enough with your smutty mind!) to rehearse once, maybe twice.
OR NOT! What would that sound like? Anywhere from twenty to 100 people who have only been rehearsing from tape, presenting as a choir in our first and last full incarnation? that would be so burning man. It would probably sound like shit. But it would be so temporal, man. Yeah.
Anyways, personally, I'm all for rehearsal :) I think we're going to make an open call for all Vancouver burners who are interested to take part in a couple of rehearsals in Vancouver, just before the Burn. AND we're planning on being in NYC July -August and we'll make a rehearsal time there too!
So if you're interested, please email me at cass at wetspotsmusic.com
I'll probably be making a Facebook group for this project too.
SO - any suggestions from the peanut gallery as to how to pull this off? Tips specific to organizing at and around Burning Man would be much appreciated.
CASS
OK, I'm really excited about this one - we are planning to attend Burning Man for the first time this year and we want to assemble a choral presentation of our songs.
I have loved choirs and musicals since I was a kid. I used to sing along to Grease and Les Miz and Cabaret, and do little acts in my mirror in my bedroom. I'm sure that surprises you. I've been performing in my underwear for YEARS. HAHA.
No, bur really... The power of choral singing often moves me to tears. there's some major mojo in the power of harmony and the human voice. Ha ! that would be a good Playa name. Major Mojo.
SO we're working on some acpella arrangements of our songs - right now, I think we're going to do Do You Take It and Bi-Curious George, (I Just Want to Fuck) Somebody Else, and maybe a new NEW BRAND NEW song from a musical we're working on, called "Everybody wants to be a Star" .... and we're open to suggestions for more.
The plan is to record the different parts and make them available for download in July, and to come together on the playa (allright, enough with your smutty mind!) to rehearse once, maybe twice.
OR NOT! What would that sound like? Anywhere from twenty to 100 people who have only been rehearsing from tape, presenting as a choir in our first and last full incarnation? that would be so burning man. It would probably sound like shit. But it would be so temporal, man. Yeah.
Anyways, personally, I'm all for rehearsal :) I think we're going to make an open call for all Vancouver burners who are interested to take part in a couple of rehearsals in Vancouver, just before the Burn. AND we're planning on being in NYC July -August and we'll make a rehearsal time there too!
So if you're interested, please email me at cass at wetspotsmusic.com
I'll probably be making a Facebook group for this project too.
SO - any suggestions from the peanut gallery as to how to pull this off? Tips specific to organizing at and around Burning Man would be much appreciated.
CASS
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